My Star Wars Theory

Warning: SPOILERS!

I went, with my wife, to see The Force Awakens on 19 December, in Imax 3D.  Because Imax.  I’m generally not a 3D fan, and the first couple minutes (fortunately just previews) reminded me why.  But I will say the 3D thing did add a bit of coolness to the show.  Certainly the Imax HUGE screen did.

So…did I like it?

Duh.

Of course!  It was pretty awesome, and great fun.  Was it repetitive from the first Star Wars (don’t tell me that’s not the first.  There are only 4 Star Wars movies.  We do not acknowledge any others in my household.)?  Completely.  Were there some head-scratchingly contrived and cheesy moments?  Absolutely.  Were there things that made no sense at all (like how the hell did the computer-generated-lady get Luke’s blue lightsaber when it fell down the hole at Bespin after Vader cut his hand off, and was lost in the clouds of that gas giant)?  Yup.  Was Rey a total Mary Sue?  100%, without a doubt, no question, utterly cannot be argued, what are you nuts if you don’t agree, yes.

The movie was still great.  I never thought I’d have a Star Wars movie to like, after the abortions we don’t mention.  I now do.

More than that, it sucked me (and the Admiral at home) in, and we left the theater discussing the many questions left by the movie.  Specifically (duh) who the hell is Rey?

It’s immediately obvious that she’s part of the family.  Not just because Star Wars is, at its core, a family saga.  But also because of all the clues dropped in the movie.  But what part of the family is she?

After the movie, the Admiral and I went to a bar and discussed it, at length.  In the end, we came up with a theory that I think holds the water completely.  I’ve since read many inane and, frankly, idiotic theories on the internet.  And one or two that closely approximate our theory.  In the interest of being able to say “I told you so and I knew it before XXXX posted it on the internet”, I present it here, for your evaluation.

And remember, we came up with this at about 1600 on 19 December, 2015.

Just saying.  :P

So here goes:

Han and Leia had two children: Ben (who later became Kylo Ren) and a daughter (who we know as Rey but who probably was not born with that name).  Ren was the older brother, but both were blessed with talent in the Force (just as Luke and Leia were…and why didn’t she train, like it was implied that she would in Jedi and like she did in the EU books?  But that’s another question).

When Luke started his school, Ren and Rey went, despite their very young ages.  At the school was another student that Ren began to look up to as a surrogate father figure because for some reason he was angry with Han (maybe because Han sent him off to the school at just the age when he needed his father most?  Or maybe something else.  Ren’s a gamma-male emo bitch, so it could just be because Han disapproved of his hair style.  I presume we’ll find out why later in the movies).  That student was the man who we now know as Snoke.

Snoke betrayed Luke and destroyed his school.  Ren helped him, for the reason I stated above.  Or maybe he just stood by, and in the midst of the carnage, followed Snoke.  Either way, Ren followed Snoke instead of Luke.

In the process of overthrowing the school, all the other students were killed, and Luke barely escaped with his life.  Both Ren and Snoke believed Rey perished, and they went off to gather the remnants of the Empire and form the First Order.

When he came to his senses, Luke found Rey and spirited her away.  He would have brought her back to Han and Leia, but by then they had split up in their grief and anger over what happened, and he feared that leaving Rey in the midst of that anger would cause her to grow up already fallen to the Dark Side.  So he left her with Leia’s trusted ally on Jakku (The guy Poe went to see at the beginning of The Force Awakens) with instructions to keep her safe until Han and Leia straightened things out.

But they never did.  And for some reason, Rey and the ally (what’s his name anyway?) got separated (maybe she got pissed at him when she hit puberty or something…or maybe he dropped the ball…who knows).

Still, the ally kept tabs on her in the vain hope that, when the time came, he would be able to help her get back to her parents.  And so she languished there on Jakku until BB happened to come across her in the desert.  And we know what happened from there.

 

And that’s our theory.

 

Think about it, and consider these things:

  1. The immediate connection between Rey and Han.  Han thinks his daughter’s dead, but he sees something of her in Rey and can’t help feeling close to her.
  2. The apparent, and immediate, connection between Rey and Ren.  Same reason.
  3. Why does no one in the general populace know that Luke was actually real?  Apparently he’s only remembered as a legend, which means he vanished quite a while ago.  Which means Ren COULD NOT have been his betrayer, because he’s far too young to have done that and have enough time pass that Luke’s not remembered as a real person.
  4. Rey’s flashbacks.  She saw the end of Luke’s school.  She saw a spaceship flying away from her at Jakku and a voice telling her to stay there.  Now, I’ll admit when I first heard that voice I thought it sounded like Kylo Ren in his mask suit.  Which makes one think maybe he was the person who dropped her off.  But as I said in #3, he’s too young.  And really that could have been anyone’s voice, really.
  5. Han tells Leia that he saw their son, but neither mentions a daughter.  This checks, because they thought their daughter died in Snoke’s rebellion.  They wouldn’t discuss their dead daughter, because that would tear the scab off the not-totally-healed wound that was her death.

 

So…what do you think?

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Posted in Life and Stuff, Movies

Release Day

It’s December 4th, which means….

*drum roll*

It’s release day!

*cheers echo throughout the room*

 

That’s right!  Robbed Blind, the fourth book of the Glimmer Vale Chronicles, is now out there for the world to grab and enjoy.

Robbed Blind Ebook Cover 700x1060

A stunning robbery threatens to bring Lydelton’s economy to its knees, and it is up to Julian and Raedrick to find the culprits. With the year’s first trading caravan in town and the missing funds needed for vital transactions, time is of the essence. Fortunately, the Constables have assistance in the form of a team of Royal Marshalls, in town for a prisoner transfer. But they have an agenda of their own, and Raedrick and Julian must tread carefully to avoid revealing the secret of their own past.

With few leads and little time, the Constables will need to use all of their skill and wit to solve the case and save their adopted home from ruin.

 

The ebook is $4.99 and can be found on Amazon, KoboiBooks, SmashwordsInktera, and Scribd.  Nook and Google Play are still processing, but it should be live there shortly.

 

Alas, it is not available in print at this time, because of an unexpected problem with the cover art for the print version. I expect the problem to be resolved shortly, and will get the print version out there as soon as possible.  Stay tuned here for updates.

 

So that’s what’s new around here.  Go pick up a copy already!

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Posted in Glimmer Vale, New Releases, Novels, Writing as a Business

New Release

Hola folks!

As I promised last week, Robbed Blind, Glimmer Vale Chronicles #4, is now up for pre-order.

Robbed Blind Ebook Cover 700x1060

A stunning robbery threatens to bring Lydelton’s economy to its knees, and it is up to Julian and Raedrick to find the culprits. With the year’s first trading caravan in town and the missing funds needed for vital transactions, time is of the essence. Fortunately, the Constables have assistance in the form of a team of Royal Marshalls, in town for a prisoner transfer. But they have an agenda of their own, and Raedrick and Julian must tread carefully to avoid revealing the secret of their own past.

With few leads and little time, the Constables will need to use all of their skill and wit to solve the case and save their adopted home from ruin.

The release is set for 4 December, but you can pre-order it now on Amazon, iBooks, Smashwords, and Kobo.

 

I also took the liberty of combining five of my novellas and novelettes into a single book.  This is the second time I’ve done this.  The first was called Tales of Adventure, so I went ahead and called this one Tales of Adventure #2.

Tales of Adventure 2 700x1050

A sword-for-hire quests to defeat an evil Necromancer.

A young girl discovers that music has a magic of its own.

An FBI interrogator discovers a chilling conspiracy.

A shipwreck unleashes a supernatural monster onto the inhabitants of a tropical island.

A washed-up electrician battles a monster from beyond our universe.

Tales of Adventure #2 is a collection of five science fiction and fantasy novelettes and novellas: The Necromancer’s Lair, A Note Of Magic, Facilitated Interrogation, The Beast And The God-Woman, and What Lurks Between.

It’s now available on Amazon, iBooks, Kobo, Nook, and Google Play.  Smashwords will follow shortly.

 

Go.  Buy.  Read.  Enjoy.

And leave some reviews.

:)

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Posted in Glimmer Vale, Novels, Post Production, Promotions, Writing Progress

Cool Developments

Hello, folks.

It’s been a while since I had anything to say on here.  Or rather, it’s been a while since I bothered to say anything on here.  Suffice it to say the last couple months have been pretty busy.  We ran through a fairly hefty financial debacle, got really busy with the kids and school, had several visitors from out of town, took a family trip to Disneyland, wrestled with the Navy detailers to figure out what my next (and last) Navy job is going to be, and…

Long story short, I haven’t gotten much writing done, though I did get stories submitted to Writers of the Future, so that’s good.

As the post title implies, I’ve got some cool developments to announce.  So let’s get to it.

First.  My orders are finalized.  My Last. Navy. Job. EVER! will be on a Carrier Strike Group staff here in San Diego.  Which is cool because we don’t have to move until I retire.  And because I get to go back to sea, on a Carrier.  On the down side, I’ll be deploying again, and only a few months before my retirement date.  So that will make transition…interesting.  But that’s the Navy for you.

Second.  Turns out the nice people at Kobo are having a sale on books that are published through their Kobo Writing Life portal – 50% off the list price.  Since all my stuff is published through that portal and I’m a big Kobo fan, I figure you guys might want to know about that.  The sale has a different duration depending on what country you’re in, as follows:

Canada
October 28th – October 31st
Promo Code: CA50SALE

United States/Australia/New Zealand
October 27th – October 30th
Promo Code: GET50SALE

United Kingdom
October 30th – November 2nd
Promo Code: UK50SALE

So if you want some cool books for a good price, run on over there and use those promo codes, and Kobo will hook you up.  :)

Third.  I’m doing a giveaway of Glimmer Vale, book one of the Glimmer Vale Chronicles.  If you want a free copy of a fun book, click here, input your email address, and your wish will be granted.  :)

Fourth.  You probably noticed I’ve given the website a bit of a facelift.  I had been using the Ocean Breeze WordPress theme for a while, but decided to try The Responsive after interacting with a few other writers who dig it.  I have to say, I like it so far.  What do you guys think?  Better, same as, worse?

Finally, and speaking of the Glimmer Vale Chronicles, the fourth book in the series, Robbed Blind, is, at long last, about ready to go.  The cover art is basically finalized, so I figured I’d share it with you.  There are a couple very small tweaks still to make on the cover, but I expect it will be wrapped up this week.  Here it is as it currently stands:

JFBeveridge-Glimmer_4-cover_conceptB-15-layout-900w

Pretty sweet, right?  Once again, James Beveridge consented to provide the artwork, and he did a great job as usual.

Anyway, once the cover’s finished, I’m going to do something that I’ve not done before: pre-orders.  Barring some unexpected catastrophe, expect to see the book up on all the sites that allow pre-orders next week, for an official release at the end of November.  It’ll go for $4.99 for the ebook and $13.95 for the trade paperback.

That’s all I have for you for right now.  Don’t forget to hit up Kobo, and please do either hit the link above or click on the Newsletter link in the menu atop the page, to sign up to get updates and free stuff.  It’s good for you.  It’s good for me.  It’s good for the children.

Remember the children.

:)

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Posted in Giveaways, Glimmer Vale, Novels, Writers of the Future, Writing as a Business, Writing Progress

Cell Phone Companies Suck

Looks like AT&T…hell ALL the cell providers…are going to finally push me from iPhone to Android.

Why?

I’ve been happy with my iPhone 5, but lately the power button’s been on the fritz – damn thing won’t turn off when I want it to half the time.  And the headphone jack’s become corroded and the audio connection spotty.  All those cumulative days of running and biking with the thing over the last almost 3 years are starting to show.

But no one will cell me a freaking iPhone! Not without their stupid nothing down, pay for the freaking phone forever plans. Screw that.

Oh sure, they still let you just buy the damn thing and do the 2-yr commitment like they used to. But then they charge $25-30/month more per line!

So you’re paying more for the phone ($30/month for 24 months is…wait for it…the full price you’d pay just to get the phone without signing up with any company.  And, sorry, much as I like the iPhone I’m not willing to pay $650 for one.) AND still paying just as much for your cell service.

OR you’re paying the same for your phone as you used to with a 2-yr commitment, but now your 2-yr commitment plan costs more….so you’re paying more for the phone and paying just as much for your cell service.

Fuck that, and fuck them.

I’m done.

I’m this close to just getting an iPod for music, audiobooks, and podcasts, and a prepaid flip phone. I’ll just buy that Garmin watch I’d been wanting to get anyway, and that’ll let me record my biking and running. I don’t really NEED all the rest of that shite, and most of the time I don’t use it.

Or I’m going to get a $150 Android phone from Boost mobile and try that.

Either way, I’m done with AT&T.  And Verizon, T-Mobile, and Sprint can kiss my tush, because they’re not getting my business either with policies like this.

I will NOT be fleeced!

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Posted in Douchebaggery, Life and Stuff, Technobabble

Time For A Promo

I’ll keep this one quick.

It’s been a busy month and a half or so.  I still need to post my June wrap-up; I’ll get to it.  But for now, I wanted to let everyone know that I’m putting Glimmer Vale (Glimmer Vale Chronicles #1) on sale from now until the end of the month.

$0.99.  Pretty good deal.

Since the fourth book in the series is just about ready and should be out around the end of next month, now’s the time to get to reading if you haven’t already.

Hint, hint.

Hit the Glimmer Vale Chronicles tab above for links to all the various stores you can find it on.

:)

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Posted in Glimmer Vale, Novels, Promotions

Your Tax Dollars At Work

What the ever-loving fucking FUCK????!!!!????!!!!!???!!!!!

So I try to access my TSP account (Thrift Savings Plan in case you don’t know the acronym – the 401k for government employee types that I have access to because I’m in the Navy). It’s been >7 months, so I don’t remember my password.

So I go into the lost password utility on the TSP website. And get told they’ll mail – FREAKING MAIL – a temporary password to me. I should call if it’s not here in 10 business days.

Today, the new password (FINALLY) arrives.

I go to the TSP website. Enter the temporary password.

It prompts me for a new password.

SERIOUSLY?

So I enter a super-strong password, one that it says meets its criteria.

And then I get a red message saying part of the website is down now, and will I please go back to the login page?

Sure, no problem. So I click the login page button and it takes me back to the password change screen where I need to enter my new, strong, password. I do so. And get the red message again.

I do this three more times, then say screw it, hit the logoff button, and close the TSP tab in my browser.

A few minutes later, I re-open a new tab and go to the TSP website.

NOT ONLY DOES THE NEW PASSWORD I CREATED NOT WORK, BUT THE GODDAMN TEMPORARY PASSWORD THEY SENT IN THE MAIL DOESN’T WORK EITHER!

AND NOW MY ACCOUNT IS LOCKED OUT!!!!!!!!

What the flaming fuck??

Does the TSP have retards in their IT Department or something?

Of course, the answer to that question is obviously yes, because what self-respecting IT professional would willingly take a job for the government unless it was their last possible choice?

*mutter*

*mutter*

*spoken under his breath as he stomps away* I’m going to burn the building down…

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Posted in Douchebaggery

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A Fun, Action-Filled Fantasy Adventure

Glimmer Vale Chronicles #2 - A Sword & Sorcery Murder-Mystery

Glimmer Vale Chronicles #3 - A Winter Rescue Goes Terribly Wrong

Glimmer Vale Chronicles #4 - A Robbery Threatens Lydelton's Economic Existence

Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy Adventure.

A bundle of 10 SF/F short stories

A Compilation of Five Short Novels

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5 Short Stories

Exciting Sci Fi/Horror Novella

Valor vs Magic...and the Undead

A Modern Fantasy Novella

A safari to a distant star to hunt Dragons

SciFi Novelette

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